In this special Valentine’s Day edition, we’re taking a closer look at the Stampflis. Here’s what they have to say about balancing work and life when you live and work together.
How did you two meet, and what was your first impression of each other?
J: I met Cindi through an online dating app. My first impression was she was really chill and went with the flow. This was the direct opposite of me so I hoped it would rub off on me.
C: I reached out to Jay on a dating app. My first impression was that he was very thoughtful and caring, but I was most attracted to his sense of humor.
Do you have any Valentine’s Day traditions?
J: We don’t have traditions, but we try to find something to do together. Whether that’s cooking a nice meal together or going out to eat.
C: I feel like a Grinch when it comes to holidays like Valentine’s Day. I’d rather get flowers and go out to dinner any day but Valentine’s Day.
What’s the most memorable trip you’ve taken together, and why?
J: This would have to be our recent Mexico trip with the family. It was nice being outside and enjoying everyone’s company.
C: We took a couples trip to Napa California with our friends. It was amazing!! Part of the magic for me was that I didn’t need to plan anything, our friends took care of all the details.
Who’s the better cook, and what’s your favorite meal to enjoy together?
J: Cindi is by far the better cook. However, I’m the grill master and my favorite meal is enjoying a nicely grilled steak.
C: I do most of the cooking, but I don’t think that makes me the better cook. I enjoy cooking and trying new things…sometimes that makes me a really bad cook. Jay’s steak is everyone’s favorite meal.
Who’s the organized one, and who’s the spontaneous one?
J: I’m definitely the organized one and Cindi is the spontaneous one. That’s probably why she doesn’t like celebrating Valentine’s Day…not spontaneous enough for her.
C: I’m kind of a whirlwind of thoughts and ideas. I believe anything is possible and I’m not afraid to take chances. I’m sure this drives Jay crazy because he’s much more methodical and cautious.
How do you support each other through busy or stressful times?
J: I always ask if there’s anything I can do to help. Sometimes taking one thing off the other’s plate is extremely helpful.
C: With three kids, aging parents, and a business to run; we know a little about being busy and stressed. I think asking for help is the key. I never assume that Jay can read my mind or see my distress.
What inspired you to start your own mortgage brokerage?
J: I’ve always had a dream of owning a mortgage company since I started in the business in 2001. This allows me to provide the highest level of service and save clients time and money by making decisions that truly enhance their experience.
C: Jason inspired me. He had so much experience in the industry and such an amazing vision that I was inspired to leave nursing and follow his dream.
What’s the secret to balancing marriage, family, and running a business together?
J: It’s important to set clear boundaries between work and personal life. It’s important to divide responsibilities at work and home so one person doesn’t feel overwhelmed.
C: Balance? What balance? This is the most impossible part of the journey. It’s super easy to focus on work or kids and forget that we’re a couple. Lines are always blurred when you’re sharing a household and a business. I’d love to know the secret.
How do you support each other through busy or stressful times?
J: I always ask if there’s anything I can do to help. Sometimes taking one thing off the other’s plate is extremely helpful.
C: With three kids, aging parents, and a small business to run; we know a little about being busy and stressed. I think asking for help is the key. I never assume that Jay can read my mind or see my distress.
How do you handle disagreements at work while keeping your relationship strong?
J: When disagreements arise, it’s important to remind yourselves that it’s about the business and not your relationship. It’s also important to take a break if needed and revisit the conversation later with a clearer mindset.
C: Practice makes perfect right? We practice disagreeing a lot so we should be pretty good at it by now. The stakes are really high for us so it can get intense. We aren’t just working to put food on our table, we have a team to take care of as well. I think it’s our ability to tackle obstacles that makes us stronger as a couple.
Who takes on which roles in the business, and how did you decide?
J: Cindi takes on the sales management role because she’s able to see from the outside and can offer suggestions. I’m definitely the numbers guy. I enjoy analyzing everyone’s unique situations and finding the best loan product.
C: Jason has always been the mortgage expert, but we’ve changed up other roles over the years. In the beginning, Jason focused on helping homeowners and I tried to do everything else. Accounting, HR, marketing, compliance, and all the other day-to-day operations. We eventually shifted responsibilities to play to each of our strengths. I do more team engagement and sales and marketing these days, which I really prefer.
What’s been the biggest challenge of running a business together?
J: I would say there’s a lot of curve balls thrown at any business owner but it’s nice to work through things together.
C: I feel like we have all our eggs in one basket. If we have a family crisis, we’re both unavailable at work. If we have a work crisis, we’re both unavailable at home. If business is really slow, we don’t have another income to offset the deficit.
How has working together impacted your relationship?
J: There has definitely been a difference of opinions, but we do a good job talking through them. The mortgage business can be stressful but having your spouse know what you’re stressing about can help with their suggestions.
C: When we worked in different industries, we didn’t really understand what the other person was going through. You can learn to appreciate each other on a deeper level when you see them in their work environment.
Any advice for other couples thinking about starting a business together?
J: It’s important to define roles and responsibilities to avoid overlap and conflicts. Also, play to each other’s strengths and divide tasks accordingly.
C: Don’t do it. Just kidding. I believe communication is the absolute key to success! Follow that with patience, flexibility, and an open mind and you’ll do great!
